My Father in Law Passed Away last night.. My husband is besides himself with grief. My heart is breaking for him. We have had a very rocky road this year with our marriage but when I saw him hysterically crying last night I knew how much I love this man. Is our marriage worth hanging onto anymore? I don't know. I'm a very confused person. I guess as they say "More will be revealed" My husband feels very guilty about his Dad's death. His Dad was an Alcoholic and John was the last to buy him a few bottles. This they say is what started his Body to start breaking down and his kidneys to fail. But his Family is not blaming him at all. He is blaming himself.. His Dad called on Christmas Morning asking him to come over.. He made up some excuse why he couldn't. Thinking he wanted more booze. Now he is wracked with guilt that he didn't go. It made me realize how precious our time is with each other. You just never know. John's Dad was an old man in his 80's. It was his time. But it's never anyone's time when you are the child. I don't care how old you are. This whole thing has got me down real bad. Yes I morn for the man but more then that it brings right into my face my own Dad's passing. My Dad wasn't so lucky to live to be an old man. He passed in his mid 60's. The age I am now. That man was the Light of my Life. When he went something in me went with him. and I live with guilt everyday that I didn't move back to Florida to live with my parents when my world crashed in front of me. I didn't want to burden them with my problems at the time. Now I realize they just wanted to love me until I could Love myself again.
Don't take anyone for granted. Ever. We just don't know when that last time is. Say "I Love You" as much as you can to your loved one's. Those are three words that never get old.
I created this Portrait last night to try to get my feelings out. I put the word "Believe" on her. I have just got to believe that things will get better. That a Good Change is in the Air. That the New Year will bring this change. I can't go on Not Believing anymore..God hasn't abandoned me. I have abandoned me..
I used Watercolor Crayons, Watercolor Pencils , Acrylics, Inks and Oil Pastels to create her.
She is for sale in my Etsy Shop
Head on over there to see some fabulous work done by some really great Artists..
Hey!! Thanks for stopping by.
Robyn
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Hi Robyn, Sorry to read about your Father in Law. He is at Peace now. Your Husband shouldn't blame himself, try to show him how much you do love him. Hope you have a better 2013. Marlene
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your FIL. It's always sad when we lose a loved one. I hope John can forgive himself. We all have to make decisions the best we can -daily. He made the best decision at that moment. God chooses when our time is up.
ReplyDeleteDear Robyn-when we feel the most alone-that's when God is standing by us the most. He loves you unconditionally.
I pray this will bring you & John closer than ever -to each other and God.
Hugs my friend. Karen
Hey Robyn...send you a biiiiig hug in this hard times...Love is the only thing that counts in this world and it is the only thing that lasts forever!
ReplyDeletewish you all the best and so much love for the new year ♥♥♥ Conny
Sympathies to you and your husband. You are so right about not taking people for granted. I hope the New Year brings you and your family peace.
ReplyDeleteRobyn, I present you to you and to your husband, all my most sincere condolences. I so understand your pain. We are so little on earth, and we do not decide on our departure time. I lost my dad almost two years ago now (in January 14th), he was 55 years old. And my mom now almost 28 years ago, she was 27 years old in the time and I 4 years old. I understand so indeed the loss of these beings if dear to our heart. I completely agree with you. The words " I love you ", are words to say as often as possible to those that we love. I regret many things and I feel guilty for my dad who, when I reflect about it, tried to prevent me three days before, but I did not understand. To believe that he felt it. I think of not having said to him rather often in which point I loved him and now, it is too late. I shall never make the error. And as you, I say the same thing to everybody: "said" I love you " as often as possible to those that you love ". I think very hardly of you in these moments so painful and I hope that 2013 will be better for you all. Friendly.
ReplyDeleteSympathies to you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry!
wonderful face!