Being Alone

Since my husband got put in the hospital last week I have been alone and seperated from him for the first time in 13 years. Boy am I ever a wimp now. Before we met I had a job as a bartender and was a party girl living alone. How did I do it? I have totally forgotton what it was like. From screwing a light bulb in on the front porch that blew out to taking the garbage out. I need him. well not only for chores like that but for the comfort of safety. I don't feel safe. I don't drive anymore and oh boy do I feel out of sorts with out him here. shhhh don't tell him but I'm missing him terribly. I need to take a online class on being independant again. Is this a good thing that I'm so dependant on someone or bad. I think both. It's good to need someone but not so good to be so totally lost without him. What a lesson I have learned. He should be home on Friday and until then I don't feel whole. Funny when he is home I'm up here in my studio most of the time. It's just the knowledge that he is puttering around someone downstairs that keeps me safe and sound. At the ripe old age of 60 now I guess I need my partner in life. I was never one to be this dependant. I had three husbands before him and left all of them for the party life. I'm too old now and finally realize the importance of having that special someone by my side.. Geez what a sappy post this is.

On a happier note here is one of my 29 faces for the 29 faces of September. The title is Reach for the Stars. I'd rather just now to Reach across my bed and feel my hubby's hand to hold. LOL