Forest Has Passed Away

My dog Forest had to be put to sleep yesterday late afternoon. I am besides myself with grief. He was 12 years old and had been with me since he was a puppy .. I had rescued him from the Pound. he never got sick not once in 12 years nor did he get fleas when the other dogs had them.. he never complained about all the Arthritis that took over his body..

He got sick about 5 days ago and had the runs so bad.. he got very weak and I kept giving him Pedialyte to put the electrolytes back into him. Sometimes I used a baster and sometimes he would drink it on his own. he ate some bread and rice at times also.. He started to get better but he couldn't walk at all. The vet never showed up to my house until yesterday afternoon though I called and called.. He said that his bones were going out of the sockets in his hips. My baby never complained not once!! Not even a whimper. The decision had to be made. I said my goodbyes and ran to my crafts room where I totally fell apart. Bad!! My heart is broken.. I feel like I have done something really wrong. That I hurt him. that I abandoned him. He was very overweight. 165 pounds or more.. Did I cause the Arthritis to be so bad? We couldn't bathe him, he got a skin condition. Did I ignore him too much? all sorts like this are going around in my head over and over and I feel guilty.. I loved him like as if he were my child. I love all my dogs and cats that way. I never could have children and they are and were my babies. I feel lost without him and so helpless. I am a total control freak and I'm so upset that I can't just bring him back and control this whole thing. I can't !! It hurts so bad!! I have three other dogs and I can't even think of going through this again. Is it worth it to get them and love them and then go through this? I don't know. I'm doubting everything right now. My poor baby is gone and I miss him so. I keep seeing him at the side of my bed when I walk by the bedroom. My mind is playing tricks on me I know it. I know he is in Heaven and out of pain .. I'm selfish I want him here with me!!

anyhow to keep busy last night after I sorted the shipment that came in for OWSE I started to learn how to work with my new Melting Pot and Beeswax. It's all a bit of a blur because my emotional state sucked last night but it was really interesting. I need to learn a lot more for sure.

this tag is what I came up with while working with the beeswax. It's rough I know but the first time I have ever worked with this medium.

I used a napkin, an image I had on Vellum and some old book paper..

I also used Perfect Pearls..

inked around the edges with vintage photo..

I will play with it again once my head is a little clearer.

My imagination and inspiration are gone right now

I just want my Baby Back

thanks for looking and listening to me whine